Student Debt And Your Love Life: More Compatible Than You Know

October 22, 2012

Relationships are complicated enough. There are a thousand and one issues that come up between partners on a regular basis. Hopefully most of them are the kinds of minor things (at least when you can manage to look at them in perspective) that can be worked out through a little communication and compromise: his hygiene isn’t quite up to snuff; there’s girl gear covering every square inch of the bathroom: these things can be worked out. But when it comes to issues like finance, the discussion takes on a whole new level of complexity. One surprising effect of student debt is that it can wreak havoc when it comes to finding a partner. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

You might be shocked at the number of people who have had relationships break up because one partner is scared off by the other’s enormous debt. While those who are on the wrong end of the break-up often feel this shows a tremendous lack of character and in fact denotes shallowness, others are more understanding.

Those who do the breaking up tend to be thinking about marriage, children and buying a home. When you’re planning to start a life with someone it makes a lot of sense to be concerned about whether or not your partner can hold up their end of your family’s financial stability. While some have offered solutions along the lines of signing prenuptial agreements and always taking great care to keep your finances separate, questions remain. What about buying a house together? How do save for a shared retirement? How do you support your kids and what happens when they reach college age and it’s time for them to start thinking about student loans? Maybe you can keep your finances separate on the books, but the reality is not so simple.

Some look forward with dread to telling the person they’re dating about the extent to which they’re indebted with student loans; they know from experience that it’s likely to immediately become a source of tension and unease. One solution lauded by those who have been in this situation and lost relationships over their student debt is to date others who are in the same boat. Some find that if you’re both bogged down by student loans it becomes a shared problem in the relationship that you can both work on overcoming together. Your partner then becomes a source of support for your financial trouble.

Another solution, one that won’t limit your dating pool, is to get your student debts under control. So many young people today feel so hopelessly indebted that they see no way out. But the picture really doesn’t need to be that bleak. Managing student debt is all about knowing how work the system. There’s no better way to navigate such a complex arena than with an expert who knows how to do it.